Written by: Grace Van Vranken
Editorial Content by: Brooke Domer
On July 17 2018, Emily Ratajkowski posted a selfie wearing a 3 karat Toi et Moi ring on her left hand. Fresh off the City Hall wedding where she married Sebastian Bear-McClard in a mustard yellow Zara jumpsuit, the exquisite piece of jewelry was the icing on the cake of the je ne sais quoi that came along with the ultra non-traditional nuptials. To this day it is still the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. Flash forward six years- a pandemic, at least three vibe shifts and Emily Ratajkowski is now divorced with a toddler, and the ring that changed my brain chemistry seemingly disappeared into thin air. That is until a few weeks ago when the best selling author announced she had turned the stones into two separate Divorce Rings. ‘I don’t think a woman should be stripped of her diamonds just because she’s losing a man.’ Ratajkowski told Vogue.
Whenever anything comes to an end, no matter how necessary it is, it’s sad. A marriage, a friendship, a job, whatever. It is only human to find yourself on a wild goose chase, desperately searching for the missing puzzle piece of what could have been. I think back to the person I was when Emily first posted her ring, bursting with optimism about certain aspects of my journey, while feeling terrified and lost about a separate list of ups and downs the universe was throwing at me. And now here I am six years later, barely able to recall the most of narratives and worries that my world once revolved around. Kintsugi is the Japanese craft of repairing broken pottery. Typically done with gold leaf, the art form is meant to serve as proof that things are still beautiful and worthy despite having been damaged. While it goes without saying, married or not, EmRata's rings would classify as stunning, I like to think the separate stones are now a reminder of how something so painful can evolve into something so exquisite you forget the initial suffering ever existed. That’s growth.
Sadly, I do not have an epic piece of jewelry to show for the lessons I’ve overcome, but in a way these teachings are my talismans, metaphorical suits of armor that guide me to rise to the occasion no matter the circumstances. Every-time I’m the bigger person, patient and softer, it comes from a place I only ever could have gotten to by diving head first into the unknown while still choosing myself every step of the way. Is this the same narrative that ran through Emily Ratajkowski's mind as she dusted off her diamonds and had them reset? Maybe? Probably? I’ll never know, but I’m happy they are back.